Self-Love, you are the thing that makes my heart beat,
Self-Love, you are the vison of myself that I see.
Self-Love, you are the imagination that I want to share,
Self-Love, you are the one that is always there.
Love is a part of life. It is a relationship builder. It is a divine beauty. It is a hope for many people, if not all. It is a victory when you find it in the right things. Women are expected to love- unconditionally. Despite the condition of a woman’s heart, she is often expected to express an emotion she sometimes forget to express to herself. The suppression of self -love, particularly in women, can be so infectious it can cause damage to the heart and mind. The mind begins to seek love in anything and the heart is often broken because of the pressures to love. This has become a cycle in women because of societal pressures, gender expectations, and generations of women who valued everything and everyone before they valued themselves. The prescription is for women to begin expressing love for who they are, what they are, and who they are to others.
Who are you? If you picked up a mirror right now and looked at yourself in it, what would you have to say about the woman you are today? Will you describe all of your physical attributes and talk about what you need to change about them? Will you compare yourself to another woman? Will your mind expose all of the negative opinions others left? If you answered yes to any of these, the reason may be because of your level of self-love.
Self-love is a product of your being. How you treat and love yourself will become the template for how others will treat and love you. If you walk around with your standards low, with your expectations low, with your value low, with your limits low, with your energy low, with you circumstances low, with your money low, and everything is low around you, your love for your self will become low. When your self-love is low, others will have less respect, less expectations, less commitments, and less compassion for you. Ultimately this will make you become less valuable to others.
Dr. Myles Munroe said, “People are not looking for you, they are looking for what you are carrying. And if you don’t manifest what you are carrying, the world will ignore you.” In order to find the confidence to manifest your greatest self, you must first have self-love. You have to love yourself enough to show who you are and what you can do for others. Maybe you’re not there yet. Maybe you need more time, maybe you need some more healing, maybe you need to build up enough courage to get to that level. But ultimately it’s you who’s stopping you. You allow yourself to be perceived, valued, treated, and respected.
When you decide you’re going to be your own champion, your own cheerleader, your own dictator, your own obstacle mover- you will begin to take ownership for your life. If you want to be in a relationship, you must bring yourself. Who you are will determine how that person will treat you. Who you are will determine the foundation of the relationship. Who you are will determine if you are capable of being a responsible and loving partner. Who you are starts with you. You have love yourself enough to figure out the woman you want to be in a relationship. And until you figure who you are and what you want to be don’t waste a person’s time. No one can give you the love for yourself. Self-love comes from yourself. Be your first friend, be your first lover, be your first coach, be everything you want to be to yourself so what you learn to do for yourself you also learn to do for others. And when you become conjoined with those like-minded people, there will be more of a chemistry and less catastrophes.
By Nyema Brown