As alter ego, Dicey Grenor, she transports her readers into the sexy, wild, daring and risky world of a character who has no rules except hers. But as Davida Green-Norris, the responsible Dicey opposite, she practices transactional law together with her husband, and help startup businesses with their formations, contracts and negotiations. In this interview with WOMAN’S ESSENCE the author of “Shameful” and “Sleepy Willows Bonded Soul” talks writing and family

As a lawyer, writer, wife and mother, how do you manage all these so that one does not suffer for the others?

That’s usually the first thing people want to know when they discover my different roles. I manage to balance everything the same way everyone else does – by drinking lots of Red Bull (Laughs) No seriously, I manage it all by prioritizing, making a daily schedule, and sticking to it.

Drinking lots of red bull would have meant there’s a secret. So now you’re saying there’s none?

Yes, there’s no real secret. It takes supportive people around you. In my case, it’s my husband who supports my dreams as I do his. We have to work together. Although both of our parents live out-of-town, we have an awesome network of friends we can call on if necessary. And my in-laws visit when we need a serious break. It also takes lots of drive. Even on the days when I feel like I can’t handle it, I still press forward. Energy drinks do help, (Smiles)

Who is alter ego Dicey Grenor?

Who is Dicey? She’s sexy, wild, daring, and risky. Risqué is in there, but risky is just as the name implies; as it’s defined in the dictionary, “risky and unpredictable.” She takes chances. That usually means someone may be offended. Though that’s not the intent, it comes with the territory. Dicey is willing to write and say what people think, but may have too much decorum to speak. My alter ego has no shame; she understands human nature and is willing to explore it. Through fictional characters, that is.

And how is Davida Green-Norris different from Dicey?

I just can’t stop smiling at your questions. Davida is not reserved by any means, but she handles herself appropriately in various situations. She knows she has to respect her husband, be a role-model for her children and be professional with clients. So, while Davida is different from Dicey because of her responsibilities, Dicey is more amped up because she has none.

Lastly on your alter ego; When did you decide to have one and for what purpose?

There is something to be said for true freedom. But I’ve had it, and I wasn’t complete. I feel more balanced as Davida with an alter ego like Dicey that I can escape to from time-to-time. You know what–Dicey has always been with me. I used to spell it Dicee, as with rolling dice, but when I decided to write racy fiction, the pen evolved itself. It just made sense. I’m not hiding behind the pen, obviously, but having it signifies which persona I’m representing.

So how did you meet your husband?

I was a third year law student. He was a mighty fine first year law student. I tried to stay away since I had issues with intimacy. Also he was six years younger than me, and because I was about to graduate. But he was as thoughtful as he was attractive. We spent lots of time together. I felt I really got to know him and him me. He proved to be someone who loved me no matter what, which was quite impressive given my personality.

Was it love at first sight or was there something that got you attracted to him and still does?

If I believed in love at first sight, I’d say this was it. But I don’t really believe I can love someone that quick. That seems more like the other L word. Love requires time and communication for me. I feel like all the conversations we had where we shared our innermost thoughts and ambitions was what made me feel close to him. Close enough to open up, which was something I rarely did. The physical attraction was there, sure, but I loved him once I got to know his beautiful soul.

Am sure as a child you had dreams of how your wedding would be. On the day you got wedded, was it anywhere near your childhood dreams?

I know this is weird, but I had no previous conceptions about what I wanted my wedding to be like. I knew I wanted to be married one day, but that was all. In fact, we had a wedding because my husband wanted one, not me. I was pleased with how our wedding turned out, but I was more interested in having a nice honeymoon and a happy, long-lasting marriage.

As a wife, what attributes do you think a lady should look out for in a husband?

Thanks, Ojay. Well, I have to say it depends on the woman. She needs to look for attributes that complement her own. If she’s the passive, laid-back type that needs a take-charge Alpha male, she should look for that. If she’s a Type A, in-your-face, no-nonsense woman, she probably should look for someone who is not. That’s not to say you shouldn’t have commonalities. If she hates sports, she probably shouldn’t pair up with an athlete. Two movie lovers would probably be in heaven together. Complementary attributes bring balance to one’s life. Commonalities bring fulfillment. I think universally good attributes like compassion, selflessness, and honesty are always good no matter the person. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting someone you’re attracted to physically. I mean, marriage is supposed to be until death. You want to look for things you can deal with for the rest of your life.

Okay over to the children. How did you feel at their births?

It was the most amazing thing in the world to give birth to them. I immediately felt overwhelming love and sadness. I knew I’d need to protect them from all the evils in the world and knew I wouldn’t be able to. I knew that they’d experience their share of heartache like everybody else. I knew they’d drive on the same streets as drunk drivers just like everybody else. I wanted to make sure they would always be healthy, they’d have lots of good friends, and they’d make the best grades in school, and still be humble, generous people. Unfortunately, I can’t promise them any of that. That’s why their births were so wonderful, so beautiful, so empowering, and so hard.
I wanted to keep them safe forever and knew that was impossible. Just like every other mother wants for her children, I wanted to provide mine the very best that life had to offer, but knew I wouldn’t be able to do that either. I don’t have the very best to give them. I can only keep striving for it. The hardest part of it, is knowing God gave them to me and I would be such an imperfect parent to such wonderful children. I can only hope my love for them shows through.

Am not a father yet but as someone who hopes to be some day, I can understand your fears of raising them. Now how have you managed to raise them since they were born?

I started working from home when my daughter was born so that I could be there for all her “firsts”. She’s in preschool now. But my son runs around the house like a tornado while I work. When I have an appointment, I make other arrangements for him. Needless to say, I get most of my work done when he’s napping or when everyone’s asleep at night. Hence the Red Bull.

Red bull! They should know you are a great customer. How about during playtime with your children; do you transform from being a woman into becoming a child or do you let them with their toys?

I’m sipping on some OrGano Gold green tea that I bought from a friend now. It gives me energy too. Now on to our question; I play with them, let them watch educational videos, read, sing to them and let them play alone with their toys. My son screams bloody murder when I tire out from piggyback. I mean, common, I can’t get tired? (Laughs) I’d love for him to play more independently, but for now, I’m his main play toy.

Lastly; going back a little to the business woman Davida Green-Norris; which sides of your business do you find more successful; being a lawyer or being an author? And as well on which one do you find more pleasure doing?

I guess it depends on how you define success. I make more money with my legal practice and I’m able to help people with their legal issues. Those are good things. On the other hand, I find fulfillment in being an author by providing an escape for readers interested in reading something unique. During the last two months since my two books have been released, I’ve gotten all 4 and 5-star reviews online, gotten over 1200 followers on twitter, over 300 fans on FB, had a book-signing, had my book featured at a book club meeting, sold 3 of 5 boxes of my paperback books, sold over 100 eBooks, been a guest speaker for TSU freshmen, networked with lots of other authors, been interviewed for Woman’s Essence magazine.

Even though Tarrantino or Scorsese have yet to call me up for a movie deal, I’d say it’s been pretty successful. I find both businesses successful and both have room to grow. I’d love to be my absolute best at both because I find being an attorney and writer pleasurable ventures. If I had to pick one, I’d write full-time.

By Ojay Milah

 

DOWNLOAD the January Issue to read & keep the article, as well see more pictures of Dicey and family.